Executive producer Rose Byrne’s gut-wrenching depiction of motherhood elevates If I Had Legs I’d Kick You when it gets lost in its dense execution.
As a guy in his mid-twenties, I can’t pretend to understand the complexities of giving birth and what it’s like to be a mother. One thing If I Had Legs I’d Kick You makes clear, though, is that the constant judgment of others looming over a woman’s every action can’t possibly make it easier. It doesn’t take a genius to see how overwhelming it must be to take on the role of both parents, even if the father is present. Ensuring your child is doing well while navigating having a job, doing chores around the house, and on top of all those things, dealing with your own physical and mental struggles. Although the film is overstuffed with narrative beats that don’t seem to go anywhere, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You ultimately succeeds in its mission of putting you in a state of anxiety.
Synopsis
Following a flood in her home, Linda’s (Rose Byrne, Platonic) life crashes down as she attempts to navigate her child’s mysterious eating disorder while living in a chaotic motel. The responsibility of looking after her daughter falls entirely on Linda, with her husband being absent. Linda’s work is a nightmare, having to put up with patients who place their life decisions on her shoulders. Her relationship with her therapist (Conan O’Brien) gets increasingly hostile, and to make matters worse, one of her patients, Caroline (Danielle Macdonald’s, Poker Face), who is going through postpartum depression, goes missing, and everyone is looking at Linda for answers.
Visualizing Anxiety
Very early on, writer-director Mary Bronstein and her director of photography Christopher Messina commit to shooting almost the entirety of the movie with the camera shoved on Byrne’s face. This visual choice gives Linda little to no space to breathe and relax, putting the audience in her point of view from beginning to end. To add to the anxiety-inducing nature of Linda’s predicaments, the sound department managed to capture what it feels like to be overwhelmed by one’s surroundings.
From her child’s continuous cries for help to the crashing waves of the ocean next to their motel, Linda can’t find a moment of peace, even in the quietness of her office. If anything, complete silence is worse for Linda as she’s left alone with the loudness of her thoughts eating her alive from the inside out. There is a sense of claustrophobia that the sound and visuals convey so effectively, better than any piece of dialogue could.
Linda’s Cry for Help
As a result of how the film is shot, Byrne is burdened with the task of carrying the film on her shoulders. Sure, O’Brien is here to occasionally get a laugh with his indifference towards Linda’s living situation. A$AP Rocky (Highest 2 Lowest) turns in a surprisingly touching performance, playing the role of the neighbor who cares a little too much, even if all the signs point toward staying as far as possible from Linda. Macdonald’s tragic portrayal of Caroline helps unlock Bronstein’s attempt to explore the themes of postpartum depression. However, all of these characters are never experienced on their own. We see them through Linda’s tired eyes.
There are so many nuances to Byrne’s work as a performer here. In a way, Bronstein weaponizes the actress’s comedic chops against the viewer. Anytime she finds herself in an impossible position, Linda is constantly told to keep a positive state of mind. Every laugh or forced smile Linda treats us with is her way to get it together. It’s comical in a sense where you can tell she could crack at any given minute. It’s one of those films and performances where a lot of the comedy comes from the anxious tone Brostein establishes, and the only possible way to pull through is by letting out nervous laughter.
Style Over Substance
Where the film is less successful is in its execution of its themes. It’s not that Bronstein or the cast don’t know how to make the audience relate to Linda’s hardships. It has more to do with the fact that there is a vagueness to Linda’s state of mind that feels quite unnecessary. We’re never really trusted with what it is that is eating Linda alive. Byrne delivers a powerful monologue around the halfway point of If I Had Legs I’d Kick You that suggests her motherly instincts, or the lack thereof, are the reason behind her severe depression. Yet, the movie continuously tries to force a sort of supernatural manifestation that is manipulating Linda’s world and bringing it down. This overcomplicates what should have been a rather simple arc.
There are set pieces that shift genres that, while they can leave you scratching your head, are well done. One involves an animatronic hamster that leads to some fun gags that have Byrne doing physical comedy within the confines of her vehicle. The other, where most of the special effects budget seems to have gone into, is a body horror sequence that primarily features a feeding tube. Messina shoots this in such an effective manner that it makes you want to crawl in your skin. Again, the sound work does a lot to elevate the stress of Linda’s world.
Final Thoughts on If I Had Legs I’d Kick You
By the time the credits start rolling, a huge collective sigh of relief could be heard at Beyond Fest’s special screening of If I Had Legs I’d Kick You. It’s almost as if the audience had forgotten how to breathe for ninety minutes straight. There are ideas, and the way these are executed, that leave a lot to be desired, but if Mary Bronstein can get such a reaction from moviegoers, then I’d say mission accomplished. Her goal of giving attendees even a glimpse of what it’s like to be a mother is messy, but so is motherhood.
Mary Bronstein’s If I Had Legs I’d Kick You comes to theaters this Friday, October 10th!
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