‘Artemis Fowl’ – A Non-Spoiler Review

Nineteen years have passed since an Artemis Fowl film adaptation bad been announced in 2001, and this movie, based on the first two books in the series of the same name, is a massive disappointment. The fantasy action movie debuted on Disney+ today on June 12 and was directed by Kenneth Branagh.

The movie lacks a sense of scale, never knowing whether it wants to be large or small. The big budget would suggest it should be large, but it never feels like it. Haris Zambarloukos’ cinematography is fine; it’s not spectacular but doesn’t take away from anything. It starts off with an attempt at personal stakes then lets it go for CGI action. The CGI was colorful and looked good for the most part. The fairies and their technology had a good look, which combined with their costumes had a strong aesthetic. However, with such a large budget, it’s not very impressive. Patrick Doyle’s score is distracting at times, the music doesn’t match the tone very well. Most of this film is constant action and hardly tries to make someone care for anybody.

The main emotional ties are based around Artemis Fowl Sr. played by Colin Farrell, and the titular character Artemis Fowl Jr. played by Ferdia Shaw. The first minutes of the film set up their relationship before leaving it away until the end of the movie. Farrell was extremely underused, none of his strengths were played well. Shaw did a good job of portraying some of the arrogance necessary. The emotional ties were not developed as they should have been.

The rest of the supporting cast is weak and does not offer much. Nonso Anozie plays the butler, Dom, and did not do anything of note. There was zero emotional connection and there was no relationship with Fowl. Lara McDonnell plays Holly Short, a fairy who brings much-needed energy, but she is not given a lot to do. Judi Dench’s character is Commander Root, the head of fairy security. She brings a gruff voice not heard since The Dark Knight Rises. Josh Gad is a dwarf who also narrates some parts of the movie which is extremely distracting.

None of the characters were developed well throughout, they were all failed by a lackluster script. Besides the discovery of fantastical creatures, none of them learned anything of note. There were few jokes or characters that were much fun. The characters were pretty bland or just flat out bad. Only McDonnell connects well with any of the others in the cast, but her charm is completely wasted. The cast is way too good for this movie and their performances are overwhelmed by the incoherent plot.

The plot centers around Fowl Sr.’s disappearance and the need to find a fairy object known as the Aculos. This plot also goes in line with Josh Gad’s dwarf, Mulch Diggums, telling the story at an MI6 base in the middle of the ocean. For whatever reason, this part is filmed in black and white. These scenes felt like a last attempt to create some cohesion with everything going on. The story gets messy in part due to location and scale. It switches between several different locations forcing characters to be spread out. Without a clear sense of scale, it becomes difficult to gauge what type of story they are creating, whether it’s more personal or high-stakes. The entire film feels rushed and so a lot of the personal moments are lost.

Artemis Fowl is aimed towards children as a bright movie full of action and wonder, but it is a huge letdown for the genre. It does not do anything new or exciting and misses out on what makes these types of movies so entertaining. There is little to enjoy and will disappoint fans of the book and those using this movie as a first-time experience.

3.5/10