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Moonfall. There’s really no other way to start talking about this movie than to just say the title a few times. Moonfall. Let’s just get into it.

Turkish poster for Roland Emmerich's Moonfall
I could only find a good image with Roland Emmerich’s credit on a Turkish poster for ‘Moonfall’, but you get the idea.

Questions Raised but Never Answered

Can a moon really fall in space? Which way is falling if each planetary body has its own mass and therefore gravity? Did an apple really ever fall on Issac Newton’s head? These are just some of the questions I’m left with after watching director Roland Emmerich’s Moonfall.

His name — thankfully — is above the title in the style of one of my favorite directors, John Carpenter. And considering some of Emmerich’s other directing credits: Independence Day, Independence Day: Resurgence, White House Down (a domestic or earthly version of Independence Day with much lower stakesI assume, I never actually watched it; I’ve yet to see it, but I saw the poster), and 2009’s 2012, he has earned the right to claim this movie.

Themes?

Moonfall is about parenthood and the trials of having a son or daughter. Wait… No, that’s not right. Let’s try again.

Moonfall is about divorce rates in America? It’s an ad for NASA? Well, they make the same joke about Elon Musk several times, so maybe it’s an endorsement of Space X? I know you’re all thinking, “Carter, how is this move an endorsement of the game you and your friend tried making in high school that nobody liked and even you didn’t understand the rules?”

Cover Page for my crummy game. Yes, it’s 6 pages double-sided. No, the rules don’t make sense.

No, not that Space X, the real one that just sent Jeff Bezos to space. Oh wait, that’s Blue Origin, a totally different company. We’re getting distracted here. Much like this movie…

Give the Editor an Oscar

The fact that a movie with a story that viewers can follow came out of whatever script there was for Moonfall means the editors of this movie deserves recognition. So let’s take a moment to applaud Adam Wolfe and Ryan Stevens Harris. I’m a sarcastic guy, but truly nice work on their part. But no, not that Space X, the real one that just sent Jeff Bezos to space. Oh wait, that’s Blue Origin, totally different company. We’re getting wayyy too off-topic here. Much like the movie.

A lot of the scenes feel rushed, particularly in the beginning, but the chaos and frantic delivery of cliché lines somewhat add to the charm and pace of the movie. Moonfall is a disaster movie. Plain and simple. It’s not great sci-fi, it’s not a great family drama, it’s not a great comedy, it’s a disaster movie. And as far as disaster movies go, it’s pretty darn fun. It’s apparently two hours and ten minutes, but it never dragged. To the point where I can somewhat forgive the exposition dump once they’re (spoiler alert) on the moon. Didn’t think they’d ever get there, did ya?

Besides the obvious moon “falling,” Moonfall has so many subplots and characters that they really jam down your throat for the first twenty minutes, but like a spaceship detaching the thrusters once out of orbit, they ditch some of the dead weight.

The destruction from tsunamis and tectonic plate shifts that NASA scientists in the movie’s own universe say don’t make sense provide enough drama and action that they could drop a few unresolved storylines, but I don’t know. I think you’d lose something if you gained closure.

Still Worth the Watch? I Don’t Know, Either.

I can’t sit here and tell you that Moonfall deserves any accolades; I’m not sure I can even sit here and tell you to go and watch this movie. However, what I can tell you is that I am glad I went and gave it a watch in theaters.

John Bradley, Patrick Wilson, and Halle Berry in Roland Emmerich's Moonfall
From left to right: KC Houseman (John Bradley), Brian Harper (Patrick Wilson), and Jocinda “Jo” Fowler (Halle Berry) looking confused — just as much as I am about some parts of the plot — in Roland Emmerich’s ‘Moonfall’.

If you strap in Sam Tarley from Game of Thrones, a demonologist, and Catwoman and accept that “Hey, the moon is ‘falling’”—if we’re really set on calling it that—you get Moonfall. Aliens may or may not be involved but we won’t find out until the big info dump that is told to us not once but twice as Patrick Wilson’s character learns of it, then tells the other characters not minutes later. A lot of what’s going on is just batpoop crazy, and you can really enjoy the ride.

Let me know what you think if you’ve seen the movie, or if you’re considering going. Maybe give it a ranking using my trademarked ranking system, with rules that only ask you to give hyper-specific classifications of movies. For example, Moonfall is a solid 10/10 in the genre: “movies that make you question the nature and definition of falling.”

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4 Comments on “Roland Emmerich’s ‘Moonfall’ Non-Spoiler Review”

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